you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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