NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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