come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
