he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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