You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
We talked him into tasing himself.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
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Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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