I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
