i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
