I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize