he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize