Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
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