I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
