i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
