Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
