Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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