STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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