...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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