Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize