what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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