I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize
