the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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