Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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