Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize