Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
