i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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