Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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