Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
did i walk over a car last night?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
