so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize