Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
