I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
