Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
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I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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