That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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