dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
