where am i from again
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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