Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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