Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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