so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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