Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize