i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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