Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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