I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
