Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I need a burrito and a hug.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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