apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
