I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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