think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
