Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
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