their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
