So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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