The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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