I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize