goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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