True but thats because hes a fetus.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
