I am puke
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
