i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
