Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
