You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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