I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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